In 7 min you get key answers to some of these questions. Why is blame so easy? How to reduce blame in the midst of organisation politics? How do you diffuse the blame you receive?
Blame is easy.
Engaging in a real dialogue and leaning into ambiguity of what you will hear is hard.
It is easier to stay with blame. Blame allows one to look good. Looking good unfortunately can equate to self-promotion, leading to carrier advancement, recognition and potentially monetary benefits.
From various interviews I found that:
In a politically charged environment, BLAME is always present.
I have blamed people. When I blame, I have a feeling of being in control. I behave from a place of I know what is wrong. I talk as if I know how things should actually be done.
Blame helps us to keep control.
Although I have reduced the percentage of time I blame, I cannot say I am Non-Blamer. The question for me is:
Can we reduce percentage of time we end up blaming and allow blame to become a toxic culture?
2 ways to reduce blame
1. Have a real conversation.
If you are receiving blame, normalise the situation to stop the blaming process by: Accepting your part of the problem: Start by looking at the 2% truth in what’s being said. OR. Look for the intension behind the blame.
Ask to have a dialogue where you can curiously explore how things were setup for failure.
Bréne Brown says:
Blame is simply the discharge of discomfort, pain and anger.
- When something goes wrong, we’re too busy making connections as quickly as we can about whose fault it is, instead of slowing down, listening, and leaving enough space for empathy to arise.
- Bravery is about engaging in a conversation that can take surprising directions and the outcomes of which can impact the way you do things.
We are all collectively co-responsible for any failure in a system. When we adopt this mindset, teams and organizations can quickly jump into a real conversation.
2. Bring more clarity
Talk about what success looks like.
Paint a clear picture. We so baldly want to go fast and want people to do things just like how we imagine. Bringing clarity means taking time to make others successful.
If you do find yourself blaming, remember it’s good you caught yourself being there.
Forgive yourself and take a deep breath the next time, blame slips in. We have all been blamers. What we want to do is reduce the percentage of time that we go around blaming and eventually create co-responsibility.
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About the author:
Deepa has been helping organisations make change happen through mindset change programs. She was intrigued by the power of politics. So she interviewed 20 people in 4 different organisations and they shared numerous stories with her. Many managers feel alone and want to talk about this subject and reduce the inefficiency it creates. Deepa is currently building a program on brave leadership to free the mind of politics.
To know more about the pilot program, please write to her at: Deepa@meetmypotential.com